This post offers an introduction to planning a spiritual retreat.
Table of Contents
What is a spiritual retreat?
A spiritual retreat is a semi-structured time away from everyday life with the intention to focus on your spirituality.
A friend is contemplating taking her first spiritual retreat and I offered to help her plan it. It got me started thinking about the things I have learned and appreciated about the spiritual retreats I’ve taken, and what I would want to pass on to her.
Here are some of my learnings after reflecting on the many groups and solo spiritual retreats I’ve taken over the past 16 years.
Join me!
If the ideas in this post resonate with you then you might be interested in learning about my offerings. I offer Sacred Self-Healing, coaching, meditations, and frequency healing classes, and I would love to connect with you!
Try the Sacred Self-Healing Method!
If you are interested in applying the power of intention to healing an emotional, mental, physical, or spiritual aspect of your life then check out these powerful tools:
Sign up for a group or individual session!
I provide one-on-one in-person and remote Sacred Self-Healing Sessions based on the Sacred Self-Healing Method, a proven novel co-creative healing modality detailed in her Books. Click here for more information.
Check out this powerful frequency device
Healy is an individualized specific microcurrent device (ISM) that runs beneficial electrical currents directed by an app on your phone. Healy can be used to magnify your intention and to get the most out of your life. Check out this post for more about Healy. And this post for some tips and tricks for Healy.
Buy my books!
My books are available here.
Listen to my recordings!
Check them out for free here on my YouTube channel.
Sign up for my mailing list
Be easy on yourself
Whether you are planning a solo retreat or joining others, the point is to get away for a time, experience a different reality, and then return to your everyday life refreshed and, in some way, transformed. It can be tempting to think that a retreat is a time to catch up on everything you have been putting off for months – a craft project, a writing piece, really digging into your meditation practice, or whatever. I invite you, in planning your retreat, to be easy on yourself. The suggestions below are meant to be ideas, not goals. One of the most important parts of a retreat is allowing yourself to reset, and you can’t do that at a breakneck pace, or with a too-full agenda. Simpler is better.
Go “away”
Many of the spiritual retreats I have taken have been at actual retreat centers, and that helps create a sense of being away from everyday life.
But what if you can’t physically get away? While I was a full-time caregiver, I couldn’t leave my loved one for longer than a few hours. I knew my body and soul needed a retreat, so I tried to create conditions where I could feel like I was getting away. A few times when my parents were out of town I “retreated” to their house about 40 minutes away and wrote, ate lunch on their patio, and took a walk by the water near their house.
For a while I kept a backpack packed with the things that made me feel like I was on retreat: a couple of Tarot or oracle card decks, my journal and a pen, a chocolate bar or other snack, a water bottle, and some markers for coloring. I would keep this backpack ready to go, and when I had a break in caregiving I would announce, “I’m going on a ‘retreat,’” and head to the lawn chairs in our backyard to be by myself. Or sometimes I sat in my daughter’s treehouse to be on retreat. Other times I drove to a nearby lake or creek with my backpack to retreat.
One time when I was in a critical period of discernment in my master’s program, and I really needed a retreat, but I couldn’t be away from caregiving for longer than three hours, I rented a room in an Airbnb just ten minutes from my home. I took a nap in bed, ate lunch there, sat outside in the sunshine, did some art, and journaled. I emerged after just two and a half hours feeling refreshed and clearer about what I needed to do.
During Covid-19 I wanted to take a retreat, but it still was not safe to stay in hotels or eat in restaurants. So, I packed my car with a lunch and some snacks, a blanket and pillow, and my art supplies, and drove an hour down the St. Croix River looking for eagles. I stopped at a scenic overlook by the river and watched bald eagles swooping overhead. I ate lunch on my blanket and rested. And then I returned feeling like I had been away.
So, it really doesn’t matter how far you go away for a retreat. It’s the state of mind you adopt.
Set an intention
Whatever the reason for your retreat, it will be more meaningful if you create an intention around it. It can be powerful to focus a solo retreat around a theme, marking a rite of passage, or celebrate a change in your life. Setting the intention about what you want to happen during the retreat helps to make it real, to make it happen.
An important part of making the space to honor a transition or mark a life event is to create the conditions to step outside of everyday life. Creating an intention helps you set the stage for a successful retreat. When you create an intention, you move into sacred space and time where feelings can be processed outside the thinking mind, and where physical manifestations of problems or issues can be transformed.
Some intentions I have set for spiritual retreats are:
“I wish to clarify what my book will be about.”
“I wish to honor my passage into peri-menopause.”
“I wish to learn what is to happen next in my life.”
“I wish to rest and recover from what I have been through.”
“I wish to honor the publication of my book.”
“I wish to connect with my spiritual guides.”
“I wish to move to a healthy home.”
Having an intention can be your touchstone for a retreat, giving you a focus for creating an altar, for doing creative or artistic expression, meditation, ritual, or movement. Setting an intention starts the spiritual wheels in motion to “make so” what you desire, and thus intentions are powerful! Speak your intentions out loud; write your intention on something that you burn; sing, tone, or hum your intention with your voice. In whatever way you express it, your intention will help frame your retreat and give it meaning.
Bring “all the things”
In general, I need to feel comfortable enough in my surroundings that I can access my spiritual side. The basic survival needs at the level of the root chakra — for food, water, clothing, and shelter — need to be satisfied so that I can tap into the energy of my upper chakras. So, I bring a cooler with food and filtered water, the quilt and pillow I like to sleep with, my yoga mat, comfortable clothing, my altar supplies, art supplies, walking shoes, and anything I know I will need to feel at home.
I used to try to pack light for retreats, but I learned it didn’t serve the goal. I recommend bringing all of the things that you need to be comfortable, and even some extra things you might not need, but will help you to feel more relaxed and cared for. Some examples of extra things I bring for an overnight retreat are an electric kettle for making tea and an assortment of tea bags, a footbath, the infrared light that helps with my arthritis pain, my yoga bolster for sitting meditation on the floor, more than one kind of chocolate, bug spray, a raincoat, a warm winter jacket, hat, gloves, and snow pants for in case I want to lie outside stargazing or to sit for an extended at an outdoor fire. If I have to trek a distance from my car to where I am staying, I bring my foldable wagon, so I don’t hurt my back carrying heavy things. It might sound silly, but for a weekend retreat, I pack my car full. I’m grateful for the stuff I’ve brought. Having these things along with me on retreat contributes to the feeling of giving myself self-care.
Create an altar
An altar is the physical manifestation of your intention.
It doesn’t have to be fancy, but when I create an altar I include some form of my intention, a candle, my Tarot or oracle cards, things I collect in nature while I’m on the retreat like pinecones or stones, and whatever else symbolizes my intention for the retreat, like photos, fabric, newspaper clippings, or whatever.
I usually have my art supplies (see below) near my altar, so that I can use them to write, color, or paint my intention. I draw an oracle card to help frame what my retreat is to be about, and I put it on my altar as well.
If I’m on an outdoor retreat, or in my car, I might have a small altar or set up something temporary outside while I eat my lunch or snack.
If I am retreating in a cabin or someplace where I can spread out, the altar can be more elaborate, and I will include more symbols I bring from home, like a Goddess statue, smudge sticks I made with my daughters, fragrant Palo Santo wood to burn, my drum, my singing bowl, and other meaningful objects.
And if I’m on a group retreat with a group altar, I still create my own personal altar in my space.
Listen to what you need
As a tired mom of three young kids, I once went on a group retreat held at a camp. I arrived exhausted and promptly got a sore throat. Looking around the opening circle of eager and outgoing women I realized how I really didn’t want to be there. I wanted to be in my bed, with some hot water, and not have to talk. When it came to my turn to share, became teary letting these feelings out, thinking I would leave in embarrassment after the circle. But, unexpectedly, I was greeted with loving compassion. The women told me to stay if I wanted, to spend as much time in bed as I liked, and to participate as little as I needed. I felt the permission I needed to get a cup of tea, go lie down in my bunk and rest. Also, this was long before Covid-19, so no one batted an eye about having a cold.
This was also before I was adept at listening inside to what I needed, and so I gratefully listened to what the others suggested I needed. On a recent solo retreat, it had been over a year since I had been able to get away, and I had a list brimming with things I wanted to “accomplish” on my retreat: to fast for half the day, to take a sauna, to write a chapter of my book, to do yoga, etc., etc. I realized soon on the first morning that it was unrealistic to be fasting and have the mental clarity to write at the same time, so those plans had to be adjusted. And when the sauna was out of order, I realized a shower would feel just as good.
So, listen inside to what you need. If it’s rest, lie down. If it’s food, eat. If your body needs to move, then move. This is your time.
Plan for downtime
Whenever you leave your home routine, whether, for travel, business, or a retreat, there will be a period of adjustment where your body, mind, and spirit need to come into sync with going at a slower pace. If you are planning a solo retreat, allow for time for your body to catch up on sleep. Take a nap if you feel like it. Give yourself permission to not have to stick rigidly to an agenda. You may really need to sit outside in the sunshine and vegetate. Be okay with staring at a fire, or taking an aimless walk in the woods, or just sitting. These are all important ways to mark that this time is sacred and different from your everyday productive life. Having the chance to breathe may allow for creative urges to enter your mind that you hadn’t planned for. Or catching up on your rest with a nap might allow you to stay up later than you usually would to watch the stars outside.
Likewise, if you are an introvert on a group retreat and you are over-full of interacting with other people, set the boundary you need to recharge by yourself. As someone who didn’t realize I was a Highly Sensitive Person until recently, I spent a lot of time on group retreats trying to balance my need for time alone with the meaningful aspects of group interaction. I’ve learned to identify that point where I just need to be alone and recharge, no matter how interesting the scheduled activity sounds.
Similarly, I learned to drive by myself to group retreats so that I will have the mental and emotional space I need to leave my family and prepare to be with others in retreat. And the same is true for the return trip, I need to be by myself to process everything I experience and to prepare to reenter my life at home. And I always chose to stay in a room by myself so that I can control the energy I am surrounded with. If you are on a limited budget there are times you may need to carpool or share a room, so I encourage you to find time to be by yourself during a group retreat so that you can get back in touch with why you are there (your intention), and to recharge your energy if you are an introvert.
And speaking of reentry, it can be jarring to go from a serene weekend alone back to the bustle of life with young children and/or a full-time job. I learned it was wise to plan a stop shortly before I got home, even a block away, to breathe, and to focus on the imminent needs of others bombarding me.
Do art
I like to pack art supplies for my spiritual retreats, such as markers, meditative adult coloring books, a few magazines to cut up for collage, scissors, tape, glue, a set of watercolor paints, paper, brushes, and colored pencils. Often, I start my retreat by unpacking, laying out all the art supplies near my altar, and creating a piece of art to symbolize the “Beginning,” (see below). I will often do another piece, or add to the first piece, partway through the retreat, and then create a final piece at the end.
The art I’m talking about is not meant for anyone else to see, unless you want to share it. Your artistic creations are meant to be symbolic, to make meaning of what you are going through, so don’t put undue pressure on yourself to create something beautiful. Just create something.
Have a beginning, a middle, and an end
To make the retreat meaningful, and to give it a little structure, but not too much, I like to plan a beginning, a middle, and an end for the retreat.
For instance, for a retreat at the Namekagan Waters Retreat yurt to celebrate my daughters’ coming of age, I brought items to set up an altar at the beginning, special foods to eat together, and gifts to give them in the middle, and we used the sauna before we left.
For a solo writing retreat I set up my altar and explored the surrounding area on foot the first evening, I wrote, walked, and fasted on the second day, and had a fire to burn a draft of my manuscript before I left at the end.
For a solo “retreat” in my car I drove down the St. Croix River for an hour, had lunch, journaled, hiked a little in the middle, and then meandered slowly back.
The art you do can also symbolize the journey you experience from the beginning to the middle, and end of the retreat. You can create a collage about your intention at the beginning and add to it in the middle of the retreat as your understanding of it has changed, and then put some finishing touches on the piece reflecting on what you have processed, what has been transformed, and what insights you may have found before your retreat ends.
Use ritual!
Ritual is an amazing tool for allowing our body, mind, and spirit to catch up with one another. If you have experienced a major life transition, like a loss, a death, a new relationship or job, or a life change, your body, mind, and spirit may be out of sync with the experience. Though you might not know why, this lack of being in accord can result in physical and mental stress and even cause physical issues, depression, and anxiety. A ritual is a powerful tool for symbolically making real that which we might not have words for, and bringing all of the parts of our being into congruence.
For ritual to be meaningful, use your intention, and explore the intention through whatever means you like, whether walking a labyrinth, meditating, journaling, creating art, or drawing in the sand. Use ritual for making real your intention by saying it out loud, creating art about it, burning things, or tossing them into water.
A meaningful ritual, like the retreat itself, has a beginning, a middle, and an end. You move from a starting place, through a transforming event, to end up somewhere else. Think of how at a graduation ceremony you move from waiting for your turn to being given your diploma, to the celebration afterward. Or how a mother’s blessing helps prepare the mother-to-be to welcome the baby with advice, gifts, and objects to assist with the birth. Similarly, a solo or group ritual helps you move from where you are to a new place.
If you are holding a group ritual to honor something big you have experienced like a loss it is immensely helpful to have others hold the ritual space for you, so that you can fully experience the transformation. Ask others to hold space for you, so that you can literally be undone, and remade during the ritual.
For solo rituals, ask your spirit guides to help you enact a ritual to signify your intention. Ask them to show you what to do and what to say. Ask them to witness what you are doing and make it real. Pray. Drum. Dance. Jump over a fire. Write it out. There are millions of ways to make meaning of a milestone, and your spiritual guides are eager to help!
If you are doing a solo ritual it can be as simple as writing something out on paper and then burning it. Or, for a relationship that has ended, throw a symbolic object from that relationship into the water. For honoring a transition like a move to a new job, you might walk a labyrinth with the intention to leave behind the old as you walk the circuits into the center, to sit with uncertainty in the center about what is to come and then to become prepared for the new job to come as you walk the path back to the entrance.
Solo rituals need not be intimidating. This is your time to be with yourself and make something real or meaningful. No need to take off your clothes or stir a cauldron, though you can if you want!
Oracle cards or tarot
Oracle and tarot cards can be a fun way to help with discernment. Oracle cards or Tarot decks are one of the tools I use to assist me with focusing on where I am spiritually, whether on a retreat, while journaling, before meditation, or at other times. Over the years I’ve tried a number of different decks and found the imagery and messages I like. I treat the practice like a light-hearted piece of information to help frame what I’m feeling, or to help amplify what I need to know.
The simplest way to use oracle or Tarot cards is to focus on the deck and ask your guides to help you select the card that will be most supportive to you and to pick a card. Often the card I need falls out of the deck into my lap while I’m shuffling it.
The meaning of the card can be what you see in the image on the card. Or you can use the book that usually accompanies a deck to help you interpret the meaning. Some people believe that if a card lands upside down it is the opposite meaning. I don’t invest too much in the meaning of a card. I just glance at it and see what jumps out at me.
I use oracle and Tarot cards when I’m on retreat to give depth to my intention or to help me see things I’m not considering. I often bring several decks on a retreat so that I can draw one card from each deck and see what they hold in common.
Nature
For me, nature is an important part of a spiritual retreat, even if only symbolized by a dish of water, a stone, or a candle.
When I’m on retreat I like to walk in nature, sit by the water, lay on a blanket, and watch for eagles soaring overhead, or just be still outside.
I love to make a fire during a retreat, and use it for burning written intentions, and making s’mores. Sometimes I create bundles of symbolic herbs, small burnable objects, and written words tied together with string to burn. Once I even burned a family bible that held a lot of bad energy due to family emotional cut-offs and abuse. Even though it was a taboo item to burn, in this case, it felt like the right thing to do to free the negative family history it represented.
Water is another one of the things I feel is essential to ritual and retreat, whether it is sitting beside the water, using it to wash something clean, like crystals, or throwing objects into the water.
And being in the green space of a forest, slow yoga movement outside, walking on a wooded path, or dipping into a cool lake are all magical nature activities.
What if I get bored, or scared, or I can’t stand myself?
All these things have happened to me at one point or another on a retreat. It all comes back to listening inside to what you really need. Maybe you came up with an idea for a spiritual retreat that wasn’t feasible for where you are right now. Maybe you need some professional help to process a big issue in your life. Maybe you are just tired, and a nap is the exact thing you need. Or maybe you need to break up the retreat into sections and go interact with other people in between.
I have done quite a few retreats where I scheduled self-care to break it up, like a massage, a meal out with a friend, a sauna at a spa, a counseling session over the phone, or time to browse in a bookstore. It’s fine to break up a retreat into manageable pieces, and you don’t lose for doing so. Solo retreats can be intense, especially if the topic you are dealing with is big. So, be kind to yourself, listen to what you need, and adjust your expectations as you go along.
And pace yourself. Start with a couple of solo retreats, working up in time, before jumping into a silent retreat, or a longer retreat. Many retreatants who do silent or longer retreats schedule regular check-ins with a spiritual director to stay on track with their intention.
Location
There are many retreat centers run by religious communities, from monasteries to family church camps that have space for retreatants. They often offer communal meals and professional spiritual direction as a service to retreatants, and sometimes other services such as massage. Another option is taking a retreat at a bed and breakfast. You can request to have your breakfast in your room or choose to interact with others at the table. Airbnbs are another option, as are hotels, camping, renting an RV, or the driving retreat I mentioned above.
Here is an incomplete list of some nearby retreat centers I’ve tried:
- Villa Maria Retreat Center, 29847 County 2 Blvd, Frontenac, MN 55026
Camp-style accommodations with bunk beds, common space for meetings, and shared meals. I’ve only been there for a group retreat.
- Prairiewoods Franciscan Spirituality Center, 120 Boyson Rd, Hiawatha, IA 52233
A favorite location because my spiritual direction training program met here quarterly for two years. Lovely grounds with a labyrinth, comfortable private rooms, nourishing meals, inspiring public spaces for meditation, walking trails, and friendly nuns who do massage therapy.
- Koinonia Retreat Center, 7768 Pilger Ave NW, South Haven, MN 55382
The website says, “permanently closed,” so maybe it’s just as well. I had an okay stay there, but the site didn’t feel set up for solo retreatants.
- Holy Wisdom Monastery, 4200 Co Hwy M, Middleton, WI 53562
Private hermitages as well as dorms; meals available if desired. I stayed in a hermitage by myself and didn’t interact with the staff or anyone there (this was just before Covid-19 began). The cabin had a comfortable bed, nice living space, a well-stocked kitchen, and a bathroom with a shower. Pretty walking trails for viewing wildlife were right outside the door.
- Claire’s Well Retreat Center, 13537 47th St NW, Annandale, MN 55302
A cozy retreat center run by nuns. I stayed in a yurt with a kitchen, a comfortable sleeping area, a composting toilet, and a nearby shower building that also hosted massage therapy by appointment. The grounds had beautiful walking trails and a pond.
- Sinsinawa Retreat Center, 585 Co Rd Z, Sinsinawa, WI 53824
A Franciscan center run by nuns, which was where my spiritual direction training program met several times. Comfortable rooms, good cafeteria food, and more of a “dormitory” feel.
- Namekagan Waters Retreat, N8760 River Rd, Trego, WI 54888
This is a single yurt for rent run by a couple on their property. The yurt is nice with a wood-burning stove for heat (it can be chilly in early spring or late fall), a serviceable kitchen, and a comfy bed and sitting area. The property also has walking trails, a labyrinth, a Finnish sauna, and massage therapy available by appointment. No showers, just the sauna and a hose rinse-off for bathing.
I hope you see that retreats can happen in many ways and that there are no hard and fast rules. The value of going on a retreat lies in putting time aside for yourself, setting an intention to honor something in your life, and being present for what comes up. Don’t judge yourself! Listen inside to what you need to get out of it and create a retreat that will feed your soul.
Have you done a spiritual retreat?
And I’d love to hear what you do and how it goes! Leave a reply below!
Let me know what you think!
I’d love to have your reply below!
Disclaimer
The preceding material does not constitute medical advice. This information is for information purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, cure or treatment. Always seek advice from your medical doctor.
