This post offers an introduction to planning a spiritual retreat.
Table of Contents
Who is Betsy Leighton?
I’m a writer, blogger, and healer dedicated to helping individuals reconnect with their innate peace and wholeness by healing nervous system dysregulation. My personal experience with chronic illness called Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) shapes my work, and my content offers tools to empower those with chronic illness to improve their well-being and take charge of their health.
I created the Sacred Self-Healing Method and am a trained and certified Safe and Sound Protocol provider, an author, blogger, and A Course in Miracles Teacher. I hold a Master of Divinity in Spiritual Counseling and am a trained spiritual mentor, with certificates in sound healing, aromatherapy, nutrition, and Sacred Deathcare. I offer a self-study certificate program in the Sacred Self-Healing Method, provide spiritual counseling and coaching, courses, and supported subscriptions for the Safe and Sound Protocol.
What is MCAS?
Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) is a chronic condition that affects all organ systems. It can cause severe, disabling symptoms every day, including potentially fatal anaphylaxis. MCAS often occurs with other chronic conditions like Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). Managing MCAS is challenging because many healthcare providers are unaware of it, and diagnostic tests can be unreliable. Treatments include antihistamines and mast cell stabilizers, as well as avoiding triggers. Check out this post on managing MCAS.
Intention
Sacred Self-Healing relies on intention and frequency. Intention directs frequency to bring about healing. The universal formula for healing is:
Intention + Frequency = Healing.
In this expression, “frequency” refers to the specific healing modality being applied. Setting an intention is particularly beneficial when utilizing self-healing methods such as frequency and forgiveness. This post covers more information on the power of intention.
Beneficial Frequency
Beneficial frequency refers to natural vibrations that synchronize biological and Earth systems, to support overall harmony. For instance, visible red and blue light from the sun are beneficial frequencies because they regulate circadian rhythms. Likewise, Earth’s Schumann resonance is a naturally occurring frequency that aligns internal and external rhythms for health. This post discusses beneficial frequency in more depth.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness, like love, is seen as a high-frequency energetic state connected to compassion and gratitude. In contrast, emotions such as resentment and anger are thought to have lower frequencies, constricting rather than elevating well-being. Forgiveness helps elevate energy, promote emotional healing, and support physiological balance. Science hasn’t measured the frequency of forgiveness, but studies show that forgiveness can improve heart and brain patterns and help the body work more smoothly. Forgiveness brings balance, healing, and peace—both emotionally and physically. This post delves deeper into forgiveness.
What is a spiritual retreat?
A spiritual retreat is a semi-structured time away from everyday life, intended to focus on your spirituality.
A friend is contemplating taking her first spiritual retreat, and I offered to help her plan it. It got me started thinking about the things I have learned and appreciated about the spiritual retreats I’ve taken, and what I would want to pass on to her.
Here are some of my learnings after reflecting on the many groups and solo spiritual retreats I’ve taken over the past 16 years.
Be easy on yourself
Whether you are planning a solo retreat or joining others, the point is to get away for a time, experience a different reality, and then return to your everyday life refreshed and, in some way, transformed. It can be tempting to think that a retreat is a time to catch up on everything you have been putting off for months – a craft project, a writing piece, or really digging into your meditation practice. I invite you to be easy on yourself when planning your retreat. The suggestions below are meant to be ideas, not goals. One of the most essential parts of a retreat is allowing yourself to reset, and you can’t do that at a breakneck pace, or with a too-full agenda. Simpler is better.
Go “away”
Many of the spiritual retreats I have taken have been at actual retreat centers, which help create a sense of being away from everyday life.
But what if you can’t physically get away? While I was a full-time caregiver, I couldn’t leave my loved one for longer than a few hours. I knew my body and soul needed a retreat, so I tried to create conditions that made me feel like I was getting away. A few times when my parents were out of town, I “retreated” to their house about 40 minutes away and wrote, ate lunch on their patio, and took a walk by the water near their home.
For a while, I kept a backpack packed with the things that made me feel like I was on retreat: a couple of Tarot or oracle card decks, my journal and a pen, a chocolate bar or other snack, a water bottle, and some markers for coloring. I would keep this backpack ready to go, and when I had a break in caregiving, I would announce, “I’m going on a ‘retreat,’” and head to the lawn chairs in our backyard to be by myself. Or sometimes I sat in my daughter’s treehouse to be on retreat. Other times, I drove to a nearby lake or creek with my backpack to retreat.
One time, when I was in a critical period of discernment in my master’s program and really needed a retreat but couldn’t be away from caregiving for more than three hours, I rented a room on Airbnb just 10 minutes from my home. I took a nap in bed, ate lunch there, sat outside in the sunshine, did some art, and journaled. I emerged after just two and a half hours feeling refreshed and clearer about what I needed to do.
During COVID-19, I wanted to take a retreat, but it still was not safe to stay in hotels or eat in restaurants. So, I packed my car with a lunch and some snacks, a blanket and pillow, and my art supplies, and drove an hour down the St. Croix River looking for eagles. I stopped at a scenic overlook by the river and watched bald eagles swooping overhead. I ate lunch on my blanket and rested. And then I returned feeling like I had been away.
So, it really doesn’t matter how far you go away for a retreat. It’s the state of mind you adopt.
Set an intention
Whatever the reason for your retreat, it will be more meaningful if you create an intention around it. It can be powerful to focus a solo retreat around a theme, marking a rite of passage, or celebrating a change in your life. Setting the intention for what you want to happen during the retreat helps make it real and make it happen.
An important part of making space to honor a transition or mark a life event is to create conditions that allow stepping outside everyday life. Creating an intention helps you set the stage for a successful retreat. When you create an intention, you move into sacred space and time where feelings can be processed outside the thinking mind, and where physical manifestations of problems or issues can be transformed.
Some intentions I have set for spiritual retreats are:
“I wish to clarify what my book will be about.”
“I wish to honor my passage into peri-menopause.”
“I wish to learn what is to happen next in my life.”
“I wish to rest and recover from what I have been through.”
“I wish to honor the publication of my book.”
“I wish to connect with my spiritual guides.”
“I wish to move to a healthy home.”
Having an intention can be your touchstone for a retreat, giving you a focus for creating an altar, for doing creative or artistic expression, meditation, ritual, or movement. Setting an intention starts the spiritual wheels in motion to “make so” what you desire, and thus, intentions are powerful! Speak your intentions out loud; write your intention on something that you burn; sing, tone, or hum your intention with your voice. In whatever way you express it, your intention will help frame your retreat and give it meaning.
Bring “all the things”
In general, I need to feel comfortable enough in my surroundings that I can access my spiritual side. The basic survival needs at the level of the root chakra — for food, water, clothing, and shelter — need to be satisfied so that I can tap into the energy of my upper chakras. So, I bring a cooler with food and filtered water, the quilt and pillow I like to sleep with, my yoga mat, comfortable clothing, my altar supplies, art supplies, walking shoes, and anything I know I will need to feel at home.
I used to try to pack light for retreats, but I learned it didn’t serve the goal. I recommend bringing everything you need to be comfortable, and even some extra things you might not need but that will help you feel more relaxed and cared for. Some examples of extra stuff I bring for an overnight retreat are an electric kettle for making tea and an assortment of tea bags, a footbath, the infrared light that helps with my arthritis pain, my yoga bolster for sitting meditation on the floor, more than one kind of chocolate, bug spray, a raincoat, a warm winter jacket, hat, gloves, and snow pants for in case I want to lie outside stargazing or to sit for an extended at an outdoor fire. If I have to trek from my car to where I am staying, I bring my foldable wagon so I don’t hurt my back carrying heavy things. For a weekend retreat, I pack my car to the brim. I’m grateful for the stuff I’ve brought. Having these things along with me on retreat contributes to the feeling of giving myself self-care.
Create an altar
An altar is the physical manifestation of your intention.
It doesn’t have to be fancy, but when I create an altar, I include some form of my intention, a candle, my Tarot or oracle cards, things I collect in nature while I’m on the retreat, like pinecones or stones, and whatever else symbolizes my intention for the retreat, like photos, fabric, newspaper clippings, or whatever.
I usually keep my art supplies (see below) near my altar so I can use them to write, color, or paint my intention. I draw an oracle card to help frame what my retreat is to be about, and I put it on my altar as well.
If I’m on an outdoor retreat or in my car, I might set up a small altar or place something temporary outside while I eat my lunch or snack.
If I am retreating in a cabin or someplace where I can spread out, the altar can be more elaborate. I will include more symbols I bring from home, like a Goddess statue, smudge sticks I made with my daughters, fragrant Palo Santo wood to burn, my drum, my singing bowl, and other meaningful objects.
And if I’m on a group retreat with a group altar, I still create my own personal altar in my space.
Listen to what you need
As a tired mom of three young kids, I once went on a group retreat held at a camp. I arrived exhausted and promptly got a sore throat. Looking around the opening circle of eager and outgoing women, I realized how I really didn’t want to be there. I wanted to be in my bed, with some hot water, and not have to talk. When it came to my turn to share, I became teary, letting these feelings out, thinking I would leave in embarrassment after the circle. But, unexpectedly, I was greeted with loving compassion. The women told me to stay if I wanted, to spend as much time in bed as I liked, and to participate as little as I needed. I felt the permission I needed to get a cup of tea, go lie down in my bunk, and rest. Also, this was long before COVID-19, so no one batted an eye about having a cold.
This was also before I was adept at listening within to what I needed, so I gratefully listened to what others suggested I needed. On a recent solo retreat, it had been over a year since I had been able to get away, and I had a list brimming with things I wanted to “accomplish” on my retreat: to fast for half the day, to take a sauna, to write a chapter of my book, to do yoga, etc., etc. I realized on the first morning that it was unrealistic to fast and maintain mental clarity to write at the same time, so those plans had to be adjusted. And when the sauna was out of order, I realized a shower would feel just as good.
So, listen inside to what you need. If it’s rest, lie down. If it’s food, eat. If your body needs to move, then move. This is your time.
Plan for downtime
Whenever you leave your home routine, whether for travel, business, or a retreat, there will be a period of adjustment during which your body, mind, and spirit need to come into sync with a slower pace. If you are planning a solo retreat, allow for time for your body to catch up on sleep. Take a nap if you feel like it. Permit yourself not to have to stick rigidly to an agenda. You may really need to sit outside in the sunshine and vegetate. Be okay with staring at a fire, or taking an aimless walk in the woods, or just sitting. These are all essential ways to mark that this time is sacred and different from your everyday productive life. Having the chance to breathe may allow for creative urges to enter your mind that you hadn’t planned for. Or catching up on your rest with a nap might let you stay up later than you usually do to watch the stars outside.
Likewise, if you are an introvert on a group retreat and you are over-full of interacting with other people, set the boundary you need to recharge by yourself. As someone who didn’t realize I was a Highly Sensitive Person until recently, I spent a lot of time on group retreats trying to balance my need for time alone with the meaningful aspects of group interaction. I’ve learned to recognize when I need to be alone and recharge, no matter how interesting the scheduled activity sounds.
Similarly, I learned to drive myself to group retreats, so I would have the mental and emotional space I needed to leave my family and prepare to be with others. And the same is true for the return trip; I need to be alone to process everything I experience and prepare to reenter my life at home. And I always chose to stay in a room by myself so that I can control the energy I am surrounded by. If you are on a limited budget, there are times you may need to carpool or share a room, so I encourage you to find time to be by yourself during a group retreat so that you can get back in touch with why you are there (your intention), and to recharge your energy if you are an introvert.
And speaking of reentry, it can be jarring to go from a serene weekend alone back to the bustle of life with young children and/or a full-time job. I learned it was wise to plan a stop shortly before I got home, even a block away, to breathe and focus on the immediate needs of others who were bombarding me.
Do art
I like to pack art supplies for my spiritual retreats, such as markers, meditative adult coloring books, a few magazines to cut up for collage, scissors, tape, glue, a set of watercolor paints, paper, brushes, and colored pencils. Often, I start my retreat by unpacking, laying out all the art supplies near my altar, and creating a piece of art to symbolize the “Beginning” (see below). I will often do another piece or add to the first piece partway through the retreat, then create a final piece at the end.
The art I’m talking about isn’t meant for anyone else to see unless you want to share it. Your artistic creations are intended to be symbolic, to make meaning of what you are going through, so don’t put undue pressure on yourself to create something beautiful. Just create something.
Have a beginning, a middle, and an end
To make the retreat meaningful and give it a little structure, but not too much, I like to plan a beginning, a middle, and an end.
For instance, for a retreat at the Namekagan Waters Retreat yurt to celebrate my daughters’ coming of age, I brought items to set up an altar at the beginning, special foods to eat together, and gifts to give them in the middle, and we used the sauna before we left.
For a solo writing retreat, I set up my altar and explored the surrounding area on foot the first evening. I wrote, walked, and fasted on the second day, and had a fire to burn a draft of my manuscript before I left at the end.
For a solo “retreat” in my car, I drove down the St. Croix River for an hour, had lunch, journaled, hiked a little in the middle, and then meandered slowly back.
The art you do can also symbolize the journey you experience from the beginning to the middle and end of the retreat. You can create a collage about your intention at the beginning and add to it in the middle of the retreat as your understanding of it has changed, and then put some finishing touches on the piece, reflecting on what you have processed, what has been transformed, and what insights you may have found before your retreat ends.
Use ritual!
Ritual is a fantastic tool for allowing our body, mind, and spirit to catch up with one another. If you have experienced a significant life transition, like a loss, a death, a new relationship or job, or a life change, your body, mind, and spirit may be out of sync with the experience. Though you might not know why, this lack of being in accord can result in physical and mental stress and even cause physical issues, depression, and anxiety. A ritual is a powerful tool for symbolically making real that which we might not have words for and for bringing all the parts of our being into congruence.
For the ritual to be meaningful, use your intention and explore it through whatever means you like, whether walking a labyrinth, meditating, journaling, creating art, or drawing in the sand. Use ritual to make your intention real by saying it out loud, creating art about it, burning things, or tossing them into water.
A meaningful ritual, like the retreat itself, has a beginning, a middle, and an end. You move from a starting place, through a transforming event, to end up somewhere else. Think of how, at a graduation ceremony, you move from waiting for your turn to being given your diploma, to the celebration afterward. Or how a mother’s blessing helps prepare the mother-to-be to welcome the baby with advice, gifts, and objects to assist with the birth. Similarly, a solo or group ritual enables you to move from where you are to a new place.
If you are holding a group ritual to honor something big you have experienced, like a loss, it is beneficial to have others hold the ritual space for you, so that you can fully experience the transformation. Ask others to hold space for you, so that you can literally be undone and remade during the ritual.
For solo rituals, ask your spirit guides to help you enact one that signifies your intention. Ask them to show you what to do and what to say. Ask them to witness what you are doing and make it real. Pray. Drum. Dance. Jump over a fire. Write it out. There are millions of ways to make meaning of a milestone, and your spiritual guides are eager to help!
If you are doing a solo ritual, it can be as simple as writing something out on paper and then burning it. Or, for a relationship that has ended, throw a symbolic object from that relationship into the water. For honoring a transition like a move to a new job, you might walk a labyrinth with the intention to leave behind the old as you walk the circuits into the center, sit with uncertainty in the center about what is to come, and then become prepared for your new life as you walk the path back to the entrance.
Solo rituals need not be intimidating. This is your time to be with yourself and make something real or meaningful. No need to take off your clothes or stir a cauldron, though you can if you want!
Oracle cards or tarot
Oracle and tarot cards can be fun ways to support discernment. Oracle cards or Tarot decks are among the tools I use to help me focus on where I am spiritually, whether on a retreat, while journaling, before meditation, or at other times. Over the years, I’ve tried several decks and found the ones I like. I treat the practice like a light-hearted piece of information to help frame what I’m feeling or amplify what I need to know.
The simplest way to use oracle or Tarot cards is to focus on the deck and ask your guides to help you select the card that will be most supportive to you and to pick a card. Often, the card I need falls out of the deck into my lap while I’m shuffling it.
The meaning of the card can be what you see in the card’s image. Or you can use the book that usually accompanies a deck to help you interpret the meaning. Some people believe that if a card lands upside down, it has the opposite meaning. I don’t invest too much in the meaning of a card. I glance at it and see what jumps out at me.
I use oracle and Tarot cards when I’m on retreat to give depth to my intention or to help me see things I’m not considering. I often bring several decks to a retreat so I can draw one card from each and see what they have in common.
Nature
For me, nature is an integral part of a spiritual retreat, even if only symbolized by a dish of water, a stone, or a candle.
When I’m on retreat, I like to walk in nature, sit by the water, lie on a blanket, and watch for eagles soaring overhead, or just be still outside.
I love making a fire during a retreat and using it to burn written intentions and make s’mores. Sometimes I create bundles of symbolic herbs, small burnable objects, and written words tied together with a string to burn. Once, I even burned a family bible that held a lot of bad energy due to family emotional cut-offs and abuse. Even though it was a taboo item to burn, in this case, it felt like the right thing to do to free the negative family history it represented.
Water is another thing I feel is essential to ritual and retreat, whether it is sitting beside the water, using it to wash something clean, like crystals, or throwing objects into the water.
And being in the green space of a forest, slow yoga movement outside, walking on a wooded path, or dipping into a cool lake are all magical nature activities.
What if I get bored, or scared, or I can’t stand myself?
All these things have happened to me at one point or another on a retreat. It all comes back to listening inside to what you really need. Maybe you came up with an idea for a spiritual retreat that wasn’t feasible for where you are right now. Perhaps you need professional help to address a significant issue in your life. Maybe you are just tired, and a nap is exactly what you need. Or perhaps you need to break the retreat into sections and interact with others in between.
I have done quite a few retreats where I scheduled self-care to break it up, like a massage, a meal out with a friend, a spa session, a counseling session over the phone, or time to browse in a bookstore. It’s fine to break up a retreat into manageable pieces, and you don’t lose out by doing so. Solo retreats can be intense, especially if the topic you are dealing with is significant. So, be kind to yourself, listen to what you need, and adjust your expectations as you go along.
And pace yourself. Start with a couple of solo retreats, building up over time, before moving on to a silent or longer retreat. Many retreatants who do silent or longer retreats schedule regular check-ins with a spiritual director to stay on track with their intention.
Location
There are many retreat centers run by religious communities, from monasteries to family church camps that have space for retreatants. They often offer communal meals and professional spiritual direction as a service to retreatants, and sometimes other services such as massage. Another option is taking a retreat at a bed-and-breakfast. You can request breakfast in your room or choose to interact with others at the table. Airbnbs are another option, as are hotels, camping, renting an RV, or the driving retreat I mentioned above.
Here is an incomplete list of some nearby retreat centers I’ve tried:
- Villa Maria Retreat Center, 29847 County 2 Blvd, Frontenac, MN 55026
Camp-style accommodations with bunk beds, common space for meetings, and shared meals. I’ve only been there for a group retreat.
- Prairiewoods Franciscan Spirituality Center, 120 Boyson Rd, Hiawatha, IA 52233
A favorite location because my spiritual direction training program met here quarterly for two years. Lovely grounds with a labyrinth, comfortable private rooms, nourishing meals, inspiring public spaces for meditation, walking trails, and friendly nuns who do massage therapy.
- Koinonia Retreat Center, 7768 Pilger Ave NW, South Haven, MN 55382
The website says, “permanently closed,” so maybe it’s just as well. I had an okay stay there, but the site didn’t feel set up for solo retreatants.
- Holy Wisdom Monastery, 4200 Co Hwy M, Middleton, WI 53562
Private hermitages and dorms; meals available if desired. I stayed in a hermitage by myself and didn’t interact with the staff or anyone there (this was just before Covid-19 began). The cabin had a comfortable bed, a lovely living space, a well-stocked kitchen, and a bathroom with a shower. Pretty walking trails for viewing wildlife were right outside the door.
- Claire’s Well Retreat Center, 13537 47th St NW, Annandale, MN 55302
A cozy retreat center run by nuns. I stayed in a yurt with a kitchen, a comfortable sleeping area, a composting toilet, and a nearby shower building that also hosted massage therapy by appointment. The grounds had beautiful walking trails and a pond.
- Sinsinawa Retreat Center, 585 Co Rd Z, Sinsinawa, WI 53824
A Franciscan center run by nuns, which was where my spiritual direction training program met several times. Comfortable rooms, good cafeteria food, and more of a “dormitory” feel.
- Namekagan Waters Retreat, N8760 River Rd, Trego, WI 54888
This is a single yurt for rent run by a couple on their property. The yurt is lovely with a wood-burning stove for heat (it can be chilly in early spring or late fall), a serviceable kitchen, and a comfy bed and sitting area. The property also has walking trails, a labyrinth, a Finnish sauna, and massage therapy available by appointment. No showers, just the sauna and a hose rinse-off for bathing.
I hope you see that retreats can take many forms and that there are no hard-and-fast rules. The value of going on a retreat lies in setting aside time for yourself, setting an intention to honor something in your life, and being present for what comes up. Don’t judge yourself! Listen inside to what you need to get out of it and create a retreat that will feed your soul.
The bucket theory
The bucket theory simplifies understanding symptom reactions with MCAS. Imagine your body as an empty bucket you don’t want to overflow. Reactions to various stimuli fill the histamine bucket at different rates, forming the total histamine level (how full your bucket is). More histamine means more symptoms. By managing triggers, reducing exposures, and taking medications and supplements, you can control your bucket’s level.
Know your typical symptom progression
Understanding your symptom progression during a flare is key to developing your rescue plan. This post discusses how to recognize symptom progression so you can be prepared to address them.
Get my free ebook, symptom log, and meal plan!
Want a tool to easily track your symptoms?
Check out these circadian health tools!
I’m an affiliate with Bon Charge, a company that makes tools for circadian health, and you can receive 15% off your order with my coupon code BETSYL.
Bon Charge offers tools such as yellow– and red-tone blue-blocking glasses, red light therapy devices, PEMF mats, infrared saunas, and EMF-blocking products.
Sign up for the SSP!
I’ve found the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) to be the most helpful bottom-up healing strategy if your nervous system has been overloaded with toxic exposures, including mold or non-native EMFs, chronic infections, concussions, stress, or trauma. The SSP is a passive listening therapy based on Polyvagal Theory that helps heal nervous system dysregulation. Many people with MCAS and other chronic conditions have nervous system dysregulation stemming from infections, toxic exposures, concussions, and trauma. The SSP is an easy-to-use app that lets you listen to specially filtered music for 30 minutes each day as part of a 5-hour cycle. Studies show the SSP has a profound effect on mental health and chronic conditions. Here’s a short podcast describing the Safe and Sound Protocol.
You can sign up for the SSP here!
Heal your mind!
While the SSP is a bottom-up, somatic therapy for healing the nervous system, the Sacred Self-Healing Method I offer is a top-down nervous system-healing modality that focuses on cognition, attention, perception, and emotion, using the mind’s higher functions. The SSP and the Sacred Self-Healing Method complement each other and together produce lasting results. Here’s a short podcast on my self-healing practice.
I provide one-on-one in-person and remote chronic illness and caregiver coaching, as well as Sacred Self-Healing Sessions based on the Sacred Self-Healing Method, a proven, novel co-creative healing modality detailed in my Books.
Order my books!
Here’s a short podcast highlighting my five books.
My latest book, Living In The Light: Healing with Forgiveness, Sound, and Light, is all about the tools that have been most helpful for me to heal: forgiveness, sound, through nervous system retraining using the Safe and Sound Protocol, and light, through entraining my circadian rhythm with the energy of the sun. Living In The Light is available here!
Rocks and Roots chronicles my solo backpacking journey on the Superior Hiking Trail and my efforts to overcome nervous system dysregulation, gut dysbiosis, and Mast Cell Activation Syndrome symptoms to complete the 328-mile hike successfully.
The Sacred Self-Healing Method ebook is available here and in most ebook retailers!
The Sacred Self-Healing Workbook is available for purchase here!
Betsy’s first book, Sacred Self-Healing: Finding Peace Through Forgiveness, is available here
Companion Recordings
The companion audio recordings of chants, guided meditations, and sound healing demonstrations that accompany the Sacred Self-Healing Method are available for free on my YouTube channel here
What do you think?
I’d love to have your reply below!
Disclaimer
The preceding material does not constitute medical advice. This information is for information purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, cure, or treatment.
